Thursday, February 19, 2009

Home Decor

There is one word that can describe every place I have lived, whether with my parents and family, or the places I have lived on my own. And that word is comfortable.

My mom's home was always really warm and comfy. And that has transcended into my own places. My apartments and house have also been really nice and comfortable. Friends have commented that being in my house feels like being at home, which has always made me feel really good. But recently I wish other words could describe my house. Words like cool or stylish would be nice, but I don't have anything really cool or stylish, which poses a slight problem.

In the past few months, I have been reading some design blogs, and they have some extremely stylish and cool ideas for the home. I fall in love with something everyday. Some people out there are just so creative and so stylish and it makes me terribly jealous.

Most of the stuff I see is expensive, really expensive. So it not only makes me envious, but it also makes me kind of depressed that I won't be able to have all of this home decor and style right now. But I'm thinking that even on a budget - a very limited budget - I still might be able to add a few little items here and there. So let me introduce you to my first stylish home addition:

I ran over to the crafty people store, Michael's, and found these. I thought they were pretty cool and perfect for the usually empty vases that live on our kitchen table. They remind me of over-sized dandelions, and I like that. These were fairly inexpensive and make me excited for my next item. So hopefully, I be able to share some more new home decor in future blogs.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

A drunken mess

Based on not just one, not just a couple, but quite a few bad drunken experiences, I have come to the conclusion that I am not the best drunk.

I have been known to wander off, pick fights with the boyfriend and black out. If you couldn't gather, making sound decisions is another struggle while under the influence. Luckily for me, I have someone who is there to take care of me. Unluckily for him, he is there to take care of me. I imagine babysitting his drunk, crazy girlfriend is not the recipe for the best night of his life. He has to keep track of me, to make sure that I don't walk into the the men's restroom or try to drive home. He has to hold my hair while I'm bent over the sidewalk, trash can or toilet. And he has had to deal with many unnecessary full-blown fights, which only escalate due to the fact that I am so drunk I would walk in the men's restroom, drive home, puke, black out and believe that fighting while drunk is an excellent idea.

Just a few weeks ago we decided to go out to the clubs (not a normal activity for us) and it resulted in many of the things mentioned above. I got trashed. I kept ordering drinks. I couldn't add. Resulting in $42 bills with $10 tips that totaled $75. How does that work? I have no clue. Thankfully, the boyfriend caught my excellent adding skills and promptly took away my debit card. This drunken night resulted in me wandering off more than a couple times, where no one in our group knew where I was. And to be quite honest, I can't remember where I was. This also resulted in puke in my front yard, my hair, all over my clothes and bathroom. Now that was a classy night! The one positive thing I can say about that night is that the boyfriend and I did not fight (as mentioned above, a common occurrence while drinking). The sad part was that when I woke up the next morning, I was afraid to ask how the the night ended up, for fear that we had fought and I was just too drunk to remember.

So this coming Saturday, to celebrate the boyfriend's 26th birthday, we are going to Studio 54 with some friends. This will no doubt result in a drunken night. And I have been prepping myself for a better night.

My goal is to limit myself, take it slow and still have a good time. I am hoping that I will accomplish this by making this night about the boyfriend. For once, he shouldn't have to be the one keeping track of me. He shouldn't be the one calling a cab for me and holding my hair. I'm hoping that I can keep reminding myself that this night is for HIM. And maybe if it turns out to be a successful, still fun night, it won't be so hard for me to have some self control next time.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The Word on Weight Loss: Month 1

I know I said that I wanted to get serious back in December, but come on. It was December, right before Christmas and all that food - that deliciously bad food! So, I think we all knew how that was actually going to go.

But the news in not all bleak. The 1st of the the year came, and I decided, once again, to be serious. The difference this time was that Christmas was over, one; two, I had a friend who also wanted to get serious; and three, the first of the year is always a good time to make a change.

On January 12th, I put my close to 25lb. overweight butt back into the Weight Watchers program, where I hope it will stay this time around!

I have found myself reverting back to some of the old ways. Measuring out my cottage cheese in the morning. Counting my crackers. And keeping my handy little food tracker open and next to me daily. This might sound like work. And I'm not going to lie. It is. It is irritating and can be embarrassing depending on the situation, but I know the results are worth it. And once I do it, and incorporate it into my routine, I know it's not that bad. And honestly, as lame as it sounds, I am addicted to routine, so doing all this on a daily basis makes me feel good.

Although the food part is not too difficult and I'm embracing it, the exercise part is quite a different story. I cannot seem to do it. I'm not even trying. I think to myself, "Ok, today I'm going to make it to the gym." One thought,that's it. It doesn't enter my mind - in any positive, proactive way - again. Well, until the next day when I have the same conversation with myself. It's very simple: I just don't want to. And convincing myself otherwise has, so far, been impossible.

As much as I want this, and I will do what I need to, to get back to the weight I want (at least 150) I recently had a revelation about my character. A few days after I joined Weight Watchers, I met up with a friend that I've had since high school. She has been having some family issues, familiar ground for me, and we were swapping tricks of the trade. She was very nervous that characteristics that she hates about her dad are unfortunately coming to the surface in her own personality.

I then relayed my experience with bad characteristics rubbing off on me. My step-dad is someone who needs constant praise. I mean the man needs a congratulations for simply breathing. I definitely do not take it this far, but I do need constant praise in my life.

I didn't ever think that this stretched so far into my life. But after this conversation, I was reminded of another conversation I had back in August 2007 with the boyfriend. I was telling him how nervous I was about hitting my lifetime weight at Weight Watchers. Sounds crazy, I know. But I was nervous because I felt like after I hit my weight I wouldn't have anything left to work toward. Well that was half of it, but I think the bigger half was that without the weekly praise from the boyfriend, my mom, my sister, his family, etc. I wouldn't have the motivation to continue. After a while, no one would think/hopefully say, "Oh wow, look how much weight you lost ... you look so great ... you worked so hard." It would eventually just be commonplace - what I accomplished would eventually just be commonplace.

Maybe that sounds vain. I'm sure it does. But, it's the truth. The truth for me anyway. And I'm glad that I know this now. That I can vocalize it and acknowledge that this perspective, this personality trait can be dangerous. But it can also be managed now that I'm aware of it. So I figure that I can either work hard at curbing this feeling - this motivation. Or I can make the boyfriend sign a contract to tell me how must weight I've lost and how great I look. Either way, I think it's a win-win situation. (That is if I lose the weight!)

Oh and by the way, this month I lost 5.2 lbs!

Link Correction

I posted a link for the Bull Shit episode Recycling, but the link was bad. Here you can find Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.

Hope this helps for all my interested, avid readers!